Heartbreak

It has been several months since I have attended a birth. I have participated in many discussions about childbirth, and I have taught two series of childbirth education, and consulted with many women about their births. But I have not helped any one through labor in a very long time.

I am feeling the void.

It feeds my soul to attend births. I don't know why; all people have talents and enjoyments, from painting to sports to historical research, and none of us chose what we like. I love the world of labor, and I love spending time with women in labor. That sounds strange, but there it is. I love labor and birth.

So I am feeling the lack of it.

Last night I received an email that rubbed salt into that void:

...we are planning on having a unassisted birth ...We are looking to have a doula who would just be there for support...We would like to know if this is something that you would be willing to work with...

Oh, cripes.

Unassisted births are the extreme end of homebirths. These are births to which no care provider -- no midwife, no one -- is invited. Women give birth in their homes, without any medical help whatsoever.

As birth is a normal process, it usually goes well. Not many things can go wrong with birth. Really.

The things that can go wrong, tend to do so quickly. And without a qualified medical person there to recognize it, a happy, normal experience can turn aberrant and debilitating.

I am not necessarily anti-unassisted birth. I have a very good friend who has had three homebirths, two of which were unassisted. I have a huge amount of respect for her, and because of her I have learned a lot about it.

Those who choose to birth unassisted are typically very well-read and well-researched. They learn as much as they can, because they are not allowing anyone -- no doctor, midwife, nurse, nobody -- to hold the responsibility for the outcome of their birth except themselves. They take excellent care of themselves. These are generally good things.

However, it is not difficult to imagine the scenario where an unassisted homebirth with a doula in attendance meets complications. If something were to go wrong, saying "but I'm not medically-trained and couldn't have known/helped/recognized/taken action" will not prevent serious litigious fallout. There is precedence; it has happened before.

It would be horribly irresponsible for me to enter into a contract of this nature. It would be outside my professional guidelines to do so. It would put my career and family at risk.

But oh, my heart aches. I would love to attend this birth. I wish I didn't have to say "no." There is simply no way around it, though.